I fell pregnant at 17, right at the beginning of year 12. I was 18 when I gave birth to my son. To make matters worse back then I looked like I was about 12; even now at almost 24 years of age people ask me if I'm 17. So you can imagine the stares I got when I had my baby. It was almost as if I could hear people thinking "What is that 12 year old doing pushing a stroller?" Even worse I would have people who would come up to me and actually verbalise what they were thinking such as "You're a bit young to have a baby aren't you?" and "Shouldn't you have waited until you were married?" It got to the point where I was too scared to even go to the supermarket and do the grocery shopping in case I copped more rude comments from complete strangers.
The thing is I never lived up to the teenage parent stereotype. I have never ever dumped my child on anyone - in fact my own mother has only babysat Jesse on about 4 occassions in the whole time since he's been born. I didn't have my first proper drink until I was 21 years old (legal drinking age in Australia is 18). I never smoked or took drugs while I was pregnant. And I wasn't even aware that you received money from the Government for having a child so the baby bonus still sits in my bank account untouched! I chose to have a child so that means I am financially and personally responsible for him: he is my responsibility and nobody else's.
So why am I writing all of this. Well I came across a girl on Facebook who I used to go to school with who had recently had her second child. Her page is open and so I thought I would take a squiz and check out a picture of the new baby... to my utter disgust her page was plastered with comments about getting drunk, coming home at 2am and throwing up all over her bed from drinking so much and being DTF (which I am just now learning means down to f**k - excuse my language). Now didn't she JUST have a baby only 3 weeks ago?? So despite having 2 children to 2 different dads (neither of whom she is still with) she is already dtf with somebody else?? Is that even safe?? And who is looking after her newborn while she is out getting drunk most nights?? I was so disappointed to be reading all of this as I thought since having children she might have settled down a little. Unfortunately not the case. What's worse is she is posting all this online for the whole world to see as her page is not set to private. Now she might be a wonderful hands-on mother to her two children (I wouldn't know) but if she is then she certainly isn't portaying herself very well.
Reading stuff like this not only makes me angry but it also makes me sad. When I first had Jesse my focus and attention was on nothing else except for him. Thoughts of sex and partying never even entered my mind as I sat and stared at my son in amazement for hours on end. I remember holding him and drinking in that beautiful baby breath and watching all the facial expressions he would make as he lay dozing in my arms. I didn't want to miss a moment. Time with him was so precious and I wanted to capture everything. This mother is wasting the perfect opportunity to just spend time bonding with her newborn. Holding him. Feeding him. Cuddling him. Singing to him. Watching him. Children grow up so quickly... enjoy every moment that you can with them because before you know it they'll be off and doing their own things. Don't waste time with them.. make time for them!
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