We've all heard of the term "Supermum" but what does the word actually imply? Well usually the term "Supermum" is used to describe a woman juggling career, motherhood, housework, the child's out-of-school commitments and maybe even study. I think the key word here is juggling. Even with all great juggling acts there comes a time when the balls will eventually drop. There is no balance in juggling - it's all up in the air.
A little while ago I posted on a homemaking blog asking how to achieve the balance between study, being a parent, looking for work and being a homemaker. I was pretty much told that I wasn't a homemaker as I didn't spend a lot of time cooking and cleaning due to my study commitments which I thought was fair enough. However I also received a few comments that made my blood boil. And I'm sure you've heard them too. They're stories that go something like this "I know a mother who works full-time, studies part time, still manages to cook and clean and helps out at the school once a week." Notice how it's always "I know someone". It's never "I manage to do this..."
Comments like that annoy me because they make me feel pressured as a mother. They also make me feel like I'm not doing enough - like I should be doing more. And then I start wondering where do these mothers actually get the time to do all of this? Am I just disorganised? So I've broken it down a little to see if it's possible. Full time work in WA is classified as working 38 hours plus per week. For each unit of study you do at University, you are meant to allow 10 hours of work on it per week. So say you do 2 units (I do 3) that's 20 hours per week. Now if you're working full time during the week I don't see how one can help out at the school but lets say it's possible - that's at least 2 hours there. Now cooking and cleaning - lets allow at least 1.5 hours each day for that. There are 168 hours in a week. If you allow yourself to sleep for 8 hours each night (which isn't always possible but it is recommended) you're left with 112 hours. Minus all of the above and you are left with less than 40 hours per week and that time is still split between dropping off and picking kids up from school, driving to and from work, driving to and from child's other commitments (such as sport) - then staying there and watching them for at least a couple of hours, doing the grocery shopping, getting the kids showered and ready for bed, making lunches, walking the dog, etc. etc. etc. You get my drift right? That doesn't leave a lot of time left over for you!
Yes some mothers, and even fathers, may actually do all of the above. But do they do each job well? Yes dinner is on the table - but is it fast food or a good home-cooked meal from scratch? Yes they might clean (I know some parents who hire a cleaner for this) but is it done on a regular basis? Yes they might study but are they achieving the marks they are capable of? There are a lot of questions to ask of the "Supermum". And the most important one of all is Are you happy?? Do you get any downtime - do you ever get to unwind with your feet up, a cuppa in one hand and an interesting book in the other? By the way if there are "Supermums" out there reading this please feel free to butt in and tell me how you balance it all. That's what I'm here to learn!
Now I understand the insurmountable amount of pressure mums are faced with today. There used to be a time, back in my grandmother's day and even my mother's day, when the woman stayed home and the man went to work. The woman managed the home and raised the kids, making do with what was on hand. The man was the breadwinner - he went to work each day and brought home the bacon. In today's society it is very difficult to live off one wage, especially if you are a low-income earner, and so there is pressure for the woman to return to work not long after having her kids so that they can afford to keep a roof over their heads. Then in this economic climate it is very difficult to find a job - or at least I'm finding it difficult - when you don't have any skills or qualifications as all your resume reads is: Mother. So then there is the pressure to return to study and further your education so that maybe then you can secure some work. On top of that we have become a society of want want want. What we have is never enough. We always want more and more costs money. You've heard the saying "keeping up with the Joneses" - well once you reach the Joneses, you'll probably see the Smiths live a lot better than the Joneses and so the cycle begins.
Now what I want to do today is redefine what it means to be a "Supermum". I think a "Supermum" is any mum who manages to wake up each day and face whatever challenges parenthood throws at them - whether it be settling a colicky baby, toilet training a toddler, looking after a sick child, sitting on the floor playing game after game with your kids even when you're bored stiff, or trying to get some work done around the house with a mini-me clung to your legs. If this sounds like you - then you ARE a SUPER MUM!! You don't need to juggle a million things to claim that title, so long as you do a super job of being there for your kids, then you have the position nailed!
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